Arizona must be so fucked up because of all the drugs coming in from the
border. How else can you explain all the crazy shit that they are doing?!
The state legislature is weighing in on some pretty out-there (and, let’s be
honest, insane), issues that they want to make into laws in public college
campuses. Public, not private.
Proposed Law 1: No swearing by professors, inside or outside the classroom, in
their professional lives or in their private lives.
Let’s also apply this to all federal, state, city, and public figure! Yes,
politicians, this includes you. Aren’t you lucky that you also get to partake
in the party!
Proposed Law 2: No federal funding for colleges that allow the use of illicit
drugs, including medicinal marijuana, on their campuses.
Students live, work, and study on campus. So if they’re not able to use
medicinal on campus, does that mean you’re going to fund construction of
special medicinal marijuana facilities off-campus for them to use? How nice!
And those pesky students with insulin pumps – can we also kick them off campus?
Thanks.
Proposed Law 3: All students should pay at least $2000 towards their education,
exempting student athletes.
Doesn’t this kind of take the “student” part out of the “student athlete”
phrase? I know that oftentimes it’s understood that the school could care less
if the athlete maintains his or her grades or even obtains his or her degree,
but can we officially drop the “student” part and just call them athletes now?
Consistency is key, my friends.
Being book-smart but coordination-poor will make you ineligible to gain funding
to go to school? Finally those damn book nerds will get what’s coming to them –
take that, future Steve Jobs!
Also, if you’re saying that student athletes are exempt, does that mean you’re
going to expand the number of allowable student athlete scholarships available?
Awesome – thanks!
Proposed Law 4: Anyone with a permit can carry a gun on public university
campuses (read: public property).
Awesome – I can finally feel safe when I’m going from my worthless econ class
all the way across campus to my worthless English class. Bonus – I can pick up
chicks by flashing it around and bragging! Hey, anyone wanna play Russian
Roulette?
And since you are seeking to allow guns onto public property, does that mean
you’re in favor of more stringent rules and qualifications to obtain a gun
license? Are you also a fan of gun safety and education courses being required
before obtaining a gun license? Oh, your answer is a resounding “No.” Great!
Thanks!
Proposed Law 5: College faculty cannot be discriminated against by their
employers based on religious and political views.
Wow how progressive of the influential conservative social group Center for
Arizona Policy! I’m so proud of them! Not only are they against religious and
political discrimination, they’re fans of open-mindedness! Oh, this rule only
applies for Christian Conservative faculty? Wish I could say I was surprised.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/03/20/arizona-republicans-public-colleges_n_1366950.html#s775631&title=No_Swearing
No comments:
Post a Comment